The Saga of M&M: Professional Perverts
by BLS91090
Summary: A side-story to "Things Will Be Different This Time", featuring Matsuda and Motohama as the main characters. Join them on an adventure of a lifetime! Rated M for adult content such as language and lemons. Expect lots of crazy and insane stuff, including breaking the fourth wall. Co-written with 'DemonHide'.
1. Chapter 1

On the tall, uncut grass surrounding the dilapidated old school building, two boys who were very out-of-place were rustling in the brush.

From their current position, the school's stylish glass front doors could be clearly seen. "Delta 1 here. I'm in position. Do you copy, over. Chk." Matsuda peeked out in a camo suit and branches stuck to his ears.

Literally right next to him, Motohama broke out of the undergrowth. He was similarly clothed. "This is Delta 2. Copy that, over. Chk." They were making fake radio transmission noises with their mouths.

They were men on a mission. A mission unlike any other. A truly brave and dangerous mission that-

"Hey, shut up, narrator!" Matsuda rudely interrupted the well-intentioned author.

"Yeah dumb-ass, don't blow our cover!" Motohama had a good point.

But what was this important task they were on?

"Hehehehe. There's only one reason why we've got ants in our pants." Matsuda hinted at something devious.

"Can we hurry this up? They're starting to bite at some weird places!" Motohama was about to be in for a world of hurt.

"All right, fine. See those stinkin' lovebirds over there near the south wall?" Matsuda pointed to a couple having some private time away from most prying eyes. "They're making out all hard-like and we're gonna catch them going even further. After reviewing the data alone in the dark for a few weeks, we'll blackmail them for money. Serves those damn couples right!"

"Yowch! MY BALLS!" Motohama felt the debilitating sting of Asian fire ants on his family jewels. "Get 'em offa me, man!" In his panicked state, he tried to run and jump to get rid of the pain.

"What the hell? Hey, don't come this way! NOOOOOO!" Matsuda and his partner in crime rolled down the hill together, leading to the building, while yelling and screaming the whole way down. Naturally, this alerted and scared off their intended targets.

Bitten, beaten and bruised, the two nutjobs learned a very important lesson: _Never interrupt the author._

* * *

"Aw man..." Matsuda sighed, thinking about their failed mission the day before.

"Don't give up hope, bro. We're in this together." Motohama's words contrasted his slumped stature and bandaged appearance.

"I dunno, man. We've been at this for so long and we still don't have girlfriends or nothin'." Matsuda's spirits were in bad shape.

"Maybe if we actually tried to be respectable members of society instead of being out for our own short-sighted greed and the misery of others, that wouldn't be a problem." Motohama and his friend pondered their situation for a long few seconds.

"Nah!" They denied reality in unison, and went to initiate Plan Provert, also known as Plan "P". When all else fails, peep for the good stuff.

"Hey, you wanna catch the kendo girls changing again? That never gets old." Matsuda suggested their go-to spot.

"You know it, brother!" Motohama high-fived him. "Too bad Issei never peeps with us anymore. He's off with his own harem full of hot chicks."

"The bastard, damn him. Well, speak of the _devil_. Look who it is!" Matsuda pointed to the man himself coming to the school grounds with his sexy entourage.

Motohama was ready to deliver the barrage. "Damn you, Pissei! Get over here so I can punch your stupid face!"

Matsuda had to hold him back. "Calm down dude, it ain't worth it. He's transcended us mere mortals and walks among the angels now." Surprisingly pretty accurate, but they wouldn't yet know.

Motohama was huffing and puffing. "Shit... You're right. Let's forget about him and just enjoy the view." He was already thinking about their favorite 'subjects'.

A female voice surprised them from behind. "And just what kind of view are you talking about?"

The two dudes turned around. The chick was Murayama! And she was with her usual partner, Katase.

Katase dashed their dreams. "The Kendo club isn't even practicing today, dumb-asses."

Matsuda fell on his dumb ass. "W-We weren't thinking about peeping, w-who would do that?"

Motohama pushed up his glasses and calculated a cool-headed response. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying the green grass and flowering trees. A perfect mirror of my pure soul."

The girls' weren't impressed. Murayama was running out of patience. "Honestly, you guys... We fend you off every week! Just give it a rest already."

Katase went further. "Or do you want us to use real swords instead?"

Matsuda flipped to his knees and begged for his sorry life. "Spare me, please! I've got 10 kids that I haven't made yet and a wife I don't have to make 'em with!"

Murayama crossed her arms. "Maybe if you actually tried to be respectable members of society instead of being-"

Motohama interrupted her. "Nah, we said "no" to that boring bullshit already."

"I think I have grandpa's sword in the club lockers somewhere." Katase was about to get it.

Matsuda choked through his tears of fear. "N-No, please! I beg you!" He grabbed onto her legs. "We just need some guidance, I swear! Use your smooth, creamy thighs to help us!" He subconsciously rubbed his cheeks into her softness.

"Ugh, get off me, you creep!" Katase tried in vain to push him away.

Motohama's quick thinking gave him an idea. "Yes... Yes that's it, just some guidance, and we'll be well on our way to becoming upstanding citizens."

Murayama seemed somewhat pleased. "I've been waiting to hear that! We at the Kendo club offer the guidance you're looking for and the discipline to follow it. The truth is, we've been losing members, in no small part due to your constant shenanigans. Join the club and we won't cut your balls off."

"Deal!" The dastardly duo didn't hesitate to agree in unison.

* * *

M&amp;M were walking to school the very next day.

"Man." Matsuda yawned. "I can't believe we got roped into joining their stupid club."

Motohama agreed. "Yeah. It sucks. But you know what?"

Matsuda was picking his nose. "Huh?" He remained aloof.

Motohama grabbed his shoulder. "The club's full of chicks! And even better, they'll all be changing while we're changing. And even better still, there's no separate changing rooms!"

"Whoa, for real?" Matsuda came back to earth. "Hell yeah, we're gonna see some tittays!"

"All part of the master plan." Motohama's glasses glinted ominously.

Towards the end of the school day, M&amp;M were done bullshitting with Issei and planning their world domination (which was just around the corner, like every day). They were already planning to head to the club dojo when the girls came to fetch them.

"Hello, boys." Murayama was in her club gear already.

So was Katase. "Ready to get your butts kicked again?"

"Hehe, no need to chaperone us, girls. We wouldn't miss our first day of drowning in puss-UGH!" Matsuda took a blow to the gut.

"What my honored and grateful compatriot here would like to say is that we would never bring shame upon our names by skipping out on our word." Motohama played the infallible diplomat.

"Whatever." Katase was not impressed. "Just get your asses to the club. We've prepared your gear for you."

"And your isolated changing rooms as well." Murayama didn't forget the most important consideration.

"I-Isolated?" Matsuda was shocked to the very core. "But... But... The tittays..." He fell to his knees.

Motohama did not despair. He knelt beside his friend and whispered. "Fear not, comrade. There is light at the end of this tunnel. We must first earn trust, then reap the rewards."

Still shaking somewhat, the words did get through to Matsuda. "You are right, brother." He grasped the outstretched arm. "Together, our dreams cannot be shattered."

"That's the spirit! You must believe! Believe that we'll get these ho ho ho's to sit on our north poles until there truly is a white Christmas!" Motohama shouted to the heavens.

They were knocked out by the girls standing five feet away from them. When they woke up again, their backs were on the hardwood floor of the kendo dojo.

"M-Matsuda..." Motohama croaked.

"I'm alive." Matsuda coughed hard. "Barely."

"Not for long." Katase stood over them with the entire kendo club at the ready.

Murayama stepped forward. "Your regimen of discipline... begins now!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" M&amp;M discovered just how long and painful that tunnel to freedom was.


	2. Chapter 2

"All right, that's enough for today girls'!" Murayama called an end to the day's practice. "Good work as always, everyone."

The club members acknowledged and bowed in unison.

"One more thing." Katase finally introduced the two newest members. "The meat puppets that served as your targets today are called Motohama and Matsuda. Doesn't matter who's who, you can just call them M &amp; M. They'll be with us for the rest of this year."

M&amp;M were collapsed on the floor with their backs against each other and their arms limp. They tried to crack a smile but their beaten up faces exposed a bunch of loose and missing teeth. "Danks ladies... See you toborrow... urk..."

After the rest of the members left to towel off and change, the girls' in charge approached the defeated and beaten duo.

"So." Murayama looked down at them with contempt. "If you behave, you might get to learn a thing or two."

Katase chuckled. "Bruised in body and ego too, I bet. How'd you like your first day?"

"Argh! No fair!" Matsuda complained. "We're not gonna be your punching bags!"

Motohama put his glasses back on. "Yeah! What happened to our guidance? I'm going home!"

"Tsk tsk tsk." Murayama wagged her finger. "Katase, bring _that _out would you?"

Katase's grin was downright malicious. "I thought you'd never ask." She opened her dougi, nearly revealing her naked top to the delight of M&amp;M. She brought out her grandfather's heirloom sword. M&amp;M were not so delighted anymore.

"This is an heirloom and family treasure belonging to the dojo for educational purposes." Murayama explained how they legally circumvented the anti-sword laws. "Do you want to learn if your libido stays the same after the source of testosterone is removed?"

M&amp;M cinched their legs together. "No, please! A-Anything but that!"

Matsuda fell on all fours and made cheeping noises. "Cheep, squeak, I'm a squirrel, I need my nuts!"

Motohama tried to dig out the floor of the dojo to store food for winter. "Cheep cheep! I like to climb trees and my preferred habitat is wooded areas in moderate to cold climes!"

Katase sighed. "God, that's too pathetic. It's just sad." She hadn't even unsheathed the sword.

Murayama got her point across. "If you understand, then don't miss a single practice. Also, stop that. Men shouldn't behave so cravenly."

Finally free to go, M&amp;M crawled out of the dojo, getting on their feet once safe and sound outside.

"If she didn't have that sword, we could totally take her!" Matsuda was thinking outside the box here.

"If we had a sword too, then at least we'd be on even grounds. Not counting their vastly superior skills, experience, numbers, intelligence, physical fitness, tactical prowess, and -" Motohama was stopped before they really lost all hope.

"Okay okay, I get it!" Matsuda sighed. "Goddammit all. Isn't there anything we can do? There's gotta be somethin'!" Matsuda couldn't wait to get back at the girls', somehow.

"Well, we could sneak in and steal it in the dead of the night. If we formulate a plan and gather our tools, all that's left is the perfect execution." Motohama pulled through with a great idea.

"But..." Matsuda objected. "That means we'll have to do work!"

"Damn, it's impossible after all..." Motohama despaired. "Let's just go home and raid the special stash."

Work is just simply too much for them.

* * *

After a whole week of the same painful routine, the weekend that was coming up tomorrow really gave them a much-needed break. M&amp;M were limping home yet again.

After a long silence, Matsuda spoke. "Motohama?"

"Yeah?" Motohama responded.

"I think we suck." Matsuda stated this bluntly.

"We suck giant monkey balls." Motohama agreed.

They passed by the sports field. Issei was using his devil strength to show off to Asia and the rest of the Occult Research Club. Seeing their former comrade rise to fame filled M&amp;M with enough rage to do something crazy. Though they decided not to rain on Issei's parade at the moment.

"Matsuda, what's the opposite of sucking?" Motohama had asked his friend quite an odd question.

"Uh, blowing?" Matsuda scratched his head.

"No, you doofus!" Motohama prepared an oath. "If Issei can do it, so can we. Today, we pledge to be awesome and fuck all the chicks!"

"The hot bubble butt ones." Matsuda added that into the last thing Motohama had said. "At least to start with."

"Right! You with me, brother?!" Motohama put out a fist.

Matsuda bumped it. "To the bitter end!"

"You know what time it is!" Motohama set it up.

"Montage!" Matsuda called it.

M&amp;M hit the gym. An inspirational 80's song about walking on razors and punching a tiger in the eye began to play. They struggled to lift the smallest dumbells from the rack, flew off the treadmill before it even started, and tripped over the rowing machine while trying to figure out what it does exactly.

30 minutes later, they left the place, and completely exhausted.

Matsuda was breathing hard. "Did we... did we get stronger?"

Motohama huffed and puffed. "We... We totally did, bro."

M&amp;M high-fived. "Fuck yeah! All the ladies will want sex when they see us flex!" They ripped off their shirts and struck unimpressive poses in the middle of the sidewalk, grunting each time.

When they eventually got back home, they engaged in several interesting activities. This included eating a big bag of Doritos, watching porn, trying to sell some tissues over Ebay, and then falling asleep. Sounds like the good life.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: This is a partial tie-in to Chapter 14 of 'Things Will Be Different This Time'. Don't forget to check it out!_**

The local prison guard disengaged the electronic lock on the cell door. "You know boys, sexual harassment is a serious crime. You're lucky you only got a night."

Matsuda and Motohama were glad to be free men again. "T-Thank you, sir. We won't do it again, we promise!" They sniffled their way out to the street.

"Why? Why was muscle Mil-tan in there with us? IS THERE NO GOD?!" Motohama fell to his knees.

"Hey man, he stood up for us when those cosplaying chicks almost threw us into traffic." Matsuda was grateful for the rescue.

Motohama regained his composure and stood up. "Yeah. Yeah you're right. I guess we owe him one."

They realized what that meant. "So uh, let's hope we never see him again." Matsuda started to sweat.

The guard's muffled voice came from behind them. "All right, Mil-tan was it? You're free to go, just stop crying will ya?"

"Oooohooo, you're such a gentleman, officer. I'll keep you in mind for later, but I have some prime meat to catch nyo~" Muscle Mil-tan was on the hunt.

"RUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!" M&amp;M sprinted for their lives and their butts.

* * *

Panting heavily a few miles later, the duo paused to catch their breath.

"So... tired... must... die..." Motohama leaned against a wall.

Matsuda wasn't doing much better. "I... I think I'm gonna... BLEGHCH!" He blew chunks in a nearby alley.

"What are you idiots doing here?" Katase had several grocery bags in her hands.

"Nothin' much, babe." Motohama stood tall, not a single indication of his previous suffering.

Matsuda grinned from ear to ear. "What's good, hot stuff?" Not even a dribble on his chin.

"Whatever. Wanna explain why you're in front of my house?" Katase suspected shenanigans.

M&amp;M looked to their left. What would the home of a skilled kendo practitioner look like?

It was a truly a sight to behold. A towering edifice two whole stories high, an ultra-secure front gate made of the sturdiest old planks, a tastefully artistic broken latch, and a massive backyard with room for an entire flower garden, maybe even a small bush.

They stood in awe of this great regal building. "Whoa dude, she's got like, a front door and everything! I bet it's got one of them deadbolts or something!" Matsuda was impressed.

"Indeed, my friend. Talk about fancy!" Motohama reeled in the wake of this impenetrable fortress.

Their compliments were as genuine as they were dumb. Surprisingly, Katase ate it up. "It's just a regular house, really. Nothing special." She blushed a little.

Matsuda caught a whiff of food. "Hey, what you got in those bags? Beef? 'shrooms?" He turned to his compatriot. "Them's nabe ingredients, Mohawk."

"Hold up, M-dawg. Did you say nabe?" Motohama's glasses glinted. "You know what they say, an extra two's company!"

"Well..." Katase considered it. "I guess you can come in. What's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away in New York city, the halls of the World Psychology Summit trembled. Hundreds of trained professionals felt a mass disturbance in the force, a cataclysmic event unlike any before.

A disheveled lab scientist burst into the auditorium. "Stop! Stop everything! There's an anomaly in the reading." He took the podium. "Ladies and gentlemen, you are the finest psychologists the world has ever seen. I come to you for advice on this grave matter. For the first time in recorded history, the 'Stupid Shit That People Do Because They're Stupid' scale has registered off the charts."

An esteemed member in the audience objected. "Nonsense! Do you have any idea how many selfies are posted on Facebook per second?"

After a heavy silence, the scientist responded. "This is different. This is... Stupider."

* * *

And in Japan, the terrible mistake had been made. "Do me a favor and take these inside. Just leave them in the kitchen. Oh...and by the way. Don't. Touch. Anything." Katase warned them. "I'm serious. Go wait in the living room, I won't be long."

"Aye aye!" Matsuda grabbed a few and Motohama got the rest.

They didn't even get inside before starting up trouble. "I wanna go in first, step off man!" Matsuda tried to squeeze through.

"I'm putting my foot down! You don't get to lose your girl's house virginity before I do!" Motohama shoved his competition.

"How about I step in before you idiots break my door!" Katase yelled at the two buffoons.

Murayama heard the yelling from inside. "Katase, is that you? You should tell me if you need help getting the-" She opened the door and unleashed an avalanche of arms, legs and legumes. "Kyaaaaaaa!"

"Ugh... Did I land on the marshmallows?" Motohama was dazed from the fall.

"What the? Get off me, you perv!" Murayama kicked his balls and gave a new meaning to 'balls to the wall'.

"Yaarghh!" Motohama cradled his gene factories. "Tits... worth it."

"How did you find this place? Never mind, just get out of here before I really hurt you!" Murayama moved to get her bokken.

"No, wait! It's all a misunderstanding. Katase invited us!" Motohama covered his head.

"Why the hell would she invite both of you shit-for-brains when one is enough trouble as it is?" Murayama only got angrier.

"It's true, just ask her." Motohama pointed to the second pile-up.

"S-Stop it, you better not put your mouth there!" Katase was on top in a compromising 69.

"Dessert before dinner, that's how I roll!" Matsuda showed no signs of stopping as he proceeded to remove her panties. He was nervous to say the least, but this could be his only chance!

Katase nearly snapped his neck with her legs. "I said no!" She got to her feet and brushed off the nastiness. "Ugh, now I'm gonna have to take a bath."

"Yes, it appears that you must get naked to do so. What an unforeseen turn of events." Motohama pushed up his glasses ever so subtly.

Matsuda feigned unconsciousness on the floor. His fingers moved slightly into a hidden thumbs-up.

Murayama rolled up her sleeves. "Good idea. I'll take out the trash." She cracked her knuckles.

"What? No, not the face! Have mercy!" M&amp;M were both beaten down and thrown out with the rest of the garbage.

"And stay out!" Murayama shut them out for good.

* * *

A gentle breeze propagated through the serene neighborhood. The light summer rain on weathered roads misted the air, droplets of pure fresh water kissed swaying dandelions emerging from the cracks. Songbirds chirped in the rays of amber sunlight penetrating the canopy of wispy clouds. On the corner of an ordinary house on this fine and beautiful day were two nondescript black plastic bags.

"Hey Motohama." Matsuda's muffle voice came from within.

"Yeah?" Motohama spoke through the lining.

"Which pile are we in?" Matsuda wondered.

"I think we're in the flammable trash pile." Motohama was sure of it.

"Why?" Matsuda asked.

Motohama sighed. "'Cause we just got burned."


	4. Chapter 4

**(Author's Note: This chapter of M&amp;M was mainly written by DemonHide. The short intro paragraph is a tie-in to Chapter 16 of 'Things Will Be Different This Time'. Make sure to check it out!)**

Yesterday, the dastardly duo found themselves sandwiched between sweaty, muscular men in bikinis with sand in places that were extra uncomfortable. Their beach mini-cation put scars on top of scars on top of even more scars. You could forgive their disheveled appearance as they made their way to school this morning.

The pathetic sight of M&amp;M dragging themselves to the gate was a daily dose of fail. Setting out ever-triumphant with a new hare-brained scheme, the other students amused themselves with bets on how many bandages they'd have upon return.

Matsuda shambled on. "There it is, yo. The door to false promises and lies."

Motohama put more tape on his glasses. "We've let down the people again. Their gazes of pity are more cruel than any insult."

"Why do we even get out of bed, man? We should just stay inside and play video games, maybe rub one out." Matsuda slouched.

"Maybe rub two out." Motohama agreed. "Speaking of which, you better have washed your hands before letting me borrow your LameBoy BS."

"It's clean, dudeflake. No way I'm riskin' my Brosona 3 save file with that kinda damage." Matsuda remembered all the hard work he had put in.

"Oh yeah, about that uh..." Motohama looked shifty-eyed. "You only had it for like a day or two, right?"

"This ain't amateur hour over here, M-dawg. I pulled an all-nighter and got my R-stats way up homie!" Matsuda enjoyed the fruits of his labor.

Motohama began to sweat. "W-Where did you stop?"

"I got my whole crew together, maxed out to the max, ready to kick some otherworldly ass. I'm talkin' final boss, big bad bastard, one move away from check-mate, hell yeah!" Matsuda fistpumped. "WOO WOO WOO that's how the pros DO! Do it with me broseph, come on!"

Motohama reluctantly followed suit. "Woo woo... that's how the pro's..." But he couldn't hold it any longer. "...overwrite your save file with all the wrong choices and kill every friend you ever had! I have sinned, brother!" He broke down on the sidewalk.

Matsuda stopped cold. His eyes disappeared, overcome by a dark shadow. "You didn't kill them all. There's one friend left."

Motohama looked up from his sobbing posture. "So you understand that our friendship is more important than any silly game?"

Matsuda clenched his fists. "No. I'm just gonna finish the job you started!" He lunged in a violent rage.

Motohama recoiled in terror. "The face, not the face!"

What proceeded was the most epic slapfight ever witnessed by nobody. Then the bell rang and they both showed up late and bleeding.

The teacher didn't bat an eye. Just another day with the resident class clowns on duty.

Issei saw them come in and gave a smiling thumbs up. Apparently he was in a high spirits and they had to find out why.

M&amp;M had a feeling that Issei was in a good mood for reasons which they wish they had instead!

"What are you smiling about, Issei?" Motohama adjusted his broken glasses.

"Yeah man, what's the deal? You must be up to somethin', or something!" Matsuda glared at him.

Issei smiled with eyes that couldn't be seen, in typical smug anime fashion. "Well, you see... Lately, I've been rollin' in some Double D's!"

M&amp;M turned into stone statues. "NOOOOOO!" They cried out in stone pain. But they would stand up for themselves this time.

"Those bitches you got should be playin' a little game of two-on-two ON MY JUNK!" Matsuda raised his fists in the air. "Or however many you got... Wait, what am I sayin'?" Matsuda cursed himself.

"Damn you, Pissei!" Motohama was ready to turn Issei's balls into Bangers 'n' Mash! "Yeah, what the narrator said!" Motohama had to agree, while breaking the fourth wall.

However, Issei noticed a few of his lovely ladies entering the room. "Hell yeahs!" Issei turned to face the goofballs. "Sorry dudes, but I gotta roll!" He darted over to said chicks.

M&amp;M were furious. "I want to know what kind of stuff he does with those chicks, right here, right now!" Motohama wanted to study such things in order to succeed at life.

"I don't just wanna see it, homeslice! I wanna DO IT! Shit, man!" Matsuda wanted some goddamn action already.

Suddenly, the two dudes spotted Katase and Murayama entering the classroom after their daily club preparations and looking gorgeous as ever. Could their lonely desires have finally reached the listening ears of Cupid?

"Hot damn! This might be our chance!" M&amp;M said in unison. The two girls didn't notice them at first. M&amp;M walked casually over to them, trying to act cool and stuff.

"Yo yo yo, what is up in the hiccups?" Matsuda was too goofy for words. "You can call me Adam if I can call you Eve."

Motohama tried a different, er, goofier approach. "Hey, I heard that dudes dig chicks. Get what I mean? Huh, huh?" He pushed his glasses up. "How about you let me dig for that buried booty, baby?"

The two girls sighed. Murayama would have none of that shit. "You know what? One day, you two can be pretty nice and cool guys. Then on another day like this one, you two try way too hard and make fools outta yourselves!"

Katase had to agree with her angry but equally hot friend. "Yeah, really! What's wrong with you two?"

M&amp;M thought long and hard about this quandary, literally.

Motohama brought out an easel holding a line chart to explain. "I'm glad you finally asked. Over on the left is the number of times we got laid in our lifetime up to this point."

Matsuda took it from there. "Here at the bottom is the value for the number of tits groped during that same time period on a per tit basis. Any questions?"

Murayama raised an eyebrow. "It's just a blank sheet."

"Hm?" Motohama looked at the pad. "Ah, very sorry about that." He flipped the page. "Is that any better?"

Katase remained confused. "Now it's just an empty graph."

"Empty like the void in our fragile hearts." Matsuda lamented.

"We are but hollow shells seeking the warmth of female company." Motohama despaired.

"Lost souls wandering in search of our one true love." Matsuda woefully pondered.

"You would never understand the plight of youth!" Motohama cried out.

Murayama was genuinely surprised. "Wow... That was actually beautiful."

Katase was also impressed. "Is that how you really feel about us?"

"The whole truth and nothin' but!" Matsuda adjusted his shirt collar.

"So you'll go out with us now?" Motohama cradled his hands expectantly.

The homeroom teacher called the class to order. The girls had their excuse to leave without an answer.

"Class is starting, guys." Murayama went to her seat.

Katase followed. "See you at the club later."

M&amp;M were foiled by the bell yet again.

Matsuda grabbed his head in frustration. "Aw man, I knew we shoulda showed them Exhibit T&amp;A!"

Motohama flipped to the next page of the pad. It was a bunch of crude stick figures in suggestive positions they learned off the internet. "Well, at least we got this to work with. I just need to uh, go to the bathroom for a bit."

"Feel free my man, I'll just hold on to this." Matsuda went for the pad.

"I kinda need that." Motohama stopped him. "For more research, you know how it is."

"You already did your 'research', man. I drew it so it's mine!" Matsuda grabbed on.

"You think you're the new da Vinci or something? Give me that!" Motohama pulled at it.

"I'm an _artiste _dawg! I call it the Moaning Lisa. Now let go, dammit!" Matsuda tugged even harder.

"Oh yeah? Then I'll make you suffer for your art!" Motohama jerked it too hard and it ripped down the middle.

Their struggle sent shitty titties flapping all over the place. This was too much to ignore. The teacher sent them to the faculty office for an old-fashioned scolding. They were lectured about classroom disruption, violence in school, and crimes against humanity.

* * *

Before they knew it, the final bell had rung, signaling the end of the school day and the start of after school club activities.

"And that's why van Gogh used consummate V's. Consummate, you hear? Now get out of my office and think about what you did." The head teacher sent them on their way. Finally free, M&amp;M headed straight for the kendo club.

"That was some boring-ass shit. Let's never fight again, MoHam." Matsuda extended a fist in friendship.

"I'm sorry too, Matty D. Friends for life!" Motohama bumped it.

It was a touching scene of forgiveness and renewal. It was sure to last until death or tomorrow, whichever came first.

"We gotta celebrate by sneaking a peek, if you know what I'm sayin'." Matsuda was eager to get a look at some assets.

"Normally I'd never turn down the opportunity, but we should ask the girls about that date. This is our big score, dude!" Motohama had a good point, though they had already reached the club by that point.

"Oh really?" Murayama opened the sliding door to the dojo. "Shut up and get changed. You're supposed to come in before us so we can keep an eye on you perverts."

"Whoops, right away ma'am. We'll get changed immediately, no funny business here." Motohama slid by.

"Yeah, what he said. I'm always down to poke chicks with my stick, haha...ha... I'll just go now." Matsuda followed.

Murayama sighed. "Honestly..."

After an hour of yet more hard knocks, Katase stood victorious over the two buffoons. "I hate to say it, but you guys are actually getting a little better maybe! I worked up a sweat this time." She fluffed her gi, exposing a sliver of glistening bra-less glory. "Huh, what's wrong? I didn't beat you that badly, did I?"

M&amp;M were hunched over after witnessing such a sight. "M-my wooden staff is at attention!" Matsuda did his best to hide it.

Motohama did the same. "C-can we go change now? The rocket is about to take off!"

"What are you two babbling about?" Murayama came over with two bowls of water. "Anyway, you know the drill. Balance these on your head and don't spill a drop. We'll change first, then it's your turn."

As the girls went to put on their regular uniforms, M&amp;M practiced their secret skill. After a long time of being subjected to this security measure, their dedicated meditation on all things soft and smooth allowed them to master the ancient hidden art of balance.

"Okay ladies, see you tomorrow. Don't forget to practice your lunges." Katase waved the girls off.

"Now to check on those two. I feel like a babysitter sometimes, I swear." Murayama turned the corner to something she wasn't expecting. "W-W-What the hell are you doing?!"

M&amp;M were on their backs but somehow, the bowls were still perfectly balanced. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out how!

"You never said which head to use. What do you think of our special move?" Motohama displayed the technique.

"Heh, bet you didn't know we could handle our swords like this!" Matsuda was quite proud of himself.

Fortunately for everyone, their shenanigans were accomplished with their pants on.

Surprisingly, instead of being offended by this vulgar display of pervert power, Katase burst out laughing. "Hahahaha! Oh my god, that's so stupid!"

Murayama cleared her throat. "A-Ahem. I guess I have to admit, no novice could pull that off."

Katase wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. "I don't know if that was legit funny or if you two have just grown on us, but it was great!"

Murayama crossed her arms. The boys weren't sure, but she might have been blushing a little. "W-well, what are you waiting for? Go get changed already."

Katase prodded her friend. "Not yet. Aren't you forgetting something?"

"No! I'm not forgetting anything!" Murayama was definitely trying to avoid an issue.

"Yes you aaarre~." Katase teased her. "If you won't do it then I will." She looked at the grounded goons. "How would you two like an exclusive double-date with your lovely kendo instructors?" She grinned from ear to ear.

"Bu-wha?!" M&amp;M were so shocked by this that their juniors were no longer flexing. It was they who encountered the unexpected this time. "Hubba-hubba-hubba duuuhhh, yes please!"

"Oh Jesus..." Murayama facepalmed. "I regret it already."


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N - This chapter of M&amp;M was mostly written by DemonHide.)  
**

M&amp;M reclined in their restored vintage Roman lectii, consuming vast quantities of the sweetest grapes and freshest olives from the local countryside. They were, of course, fed by beautiful and scantily-clad female servants, delivering treats on a polished silver platter.

"Dearest Matsudus, what do you think of these fine delights?" Motohamus spoke through a mouthful of fruit.

"Simply divine, Motohamus. Plump, firm and at the perfect ripeness." Matsudus casually groped an unflinching servant. "Oh yes, and the fruits are quite delectable as well!"

"Hohohohoho!" M&amp;M guffawed in unison.

The camera blurred in and out, revealing that they were, in fact, not ancient Roman consuls but just a bunch of snortling teenagers in a messy room.

"Oh man, having Katase and Murayama feed us like that sure would be nice, huh?" Matsuda hoped for the impossible.

"You said it, dude. Stupid Roman empire circa 200 AD. Hey, did you know that they invented paved roads and the republican form of government?" Motohama shared his knowledge.

"Uh... No? You didn't either, what the shit?" Matsuda suspected shenanigans.

"Huh, you're right. Where the hell did that come from?" Motohama looked around for any signs of foul play.

They would never find them, of course. I covered my tracks well. There's no way I'd write my own demise into the stor-

"It's the Narrator, get him!" Motohama pounced.

OW! What the? AGH! Stop! I was just trying to educate the children of the world!

"That so? Well how about you educate this?!" Motohama punched the Narrator in the nose.

"Oh shit, that fool got taken to school! This ain't no edumacation show!" Matsuda jeered on.

Motohama high-fived him. "Let's make like a banana and get slobbered by hot chicks!"

Having taught the Narrator a thing or two themselves, they decided to go out and celebrate. But suddenly, a giant truck carrying sharks and spiders barreled out of control in their direction!

"No! Please, anything but that!" M&amp;M begged for mercy from this terrible fate.

That's more like it, you cocky bastards. Remember what you learned in Chapter 1?

"We're sorry, it'll never happen again! Promise!" M&amp;M were too pathetic to taunt further.

The driver of the Sharks &amp; Spiders, Inc. delivery truck managed to regain control of the vehicle and safely continued on his regular route.

"Oh thank you, kind sir! May the blessings of poontang be upon you!" M&amp;M were most grateful to have been spared.

All right already. Bunch of babies. Now where was I? Ah, yes.

* * *

M&amp;M walked out onto the sidewalk uneventfully. Forgoing celebration and opting instead to prepare for their hot date, they decided to splurge a little and get fancy for the ladies. They walked into the yen store to find fresh threads.

"Yo Mohomatic, check out these fly sunglasses." Matsuda put on a pair of giant shades.

"That's weak, man. Now this, this is what the fairer sex wants." Motohama chose something more sensible. "Fancy cologne from a place called uh... capsicum? Must be Italian. Comes in a convenient spray bottle, too!"

"Damn, you know where it's at, homie. I wanna be an Italian stallion too, hand it over!" Matsuda grabbed for the bottle.

"No, I found it first! Come on, quit it!" Motohama guarded his discovery.

The aisle wrestling bonanza resulted in the cap of the bottle being pressed, spraying concentrated capsicum every where.

"YAAAARGHHH! My eyes!" Matsuda collapsed in pain.

Motohama coughed uncontrollably. "HURKH! I can't... HRG...breathe!" He too, fell helplessly to the floor.

The bottle rolled away, revealing a label on the cap that read, "Warning: Use Pepper Spray with Caution".

A few hours later, they woke up in the utility closet next to a dirty mop.

"Ow... what time is it?" Matsuda rubbed his eyes. They were still stinging and red.

Motohama fumbled around for his phone. "It's..." He gasped. "6:30! We gotta meet them by 7:00!"

Matsuda's eyes shot open. "You serious?! We gotta wash this crap-ass cologne off!"

"To the mancave, away!" Motohama led the way.

* * *

A little bit late but almost there, M&amp;M ran at a full sprint.

Matsuda kept checking to see if his zipper was good to go. It was hard to do at top speed, but it had to be done. "Alright, check on that! Wallet, check! Not dreaming?" He pinched himself. "Check!"

Motohama was rubbing a bar of soap on his armpits. "Pits, good to go!" He had to double-check the last thing his bro-man said. He pinched himself as well, twice in fact. "Checkaroo on that too!"

It seems these two really were going on a date... somehow. After the fiasco in the yen store a few minutes ago, they had no new clothes to impress with. Not bothered in the least, they walked into a restaurant named 'Hello, Goodybe!' and looked around to see if the two lovely ladies were here. It was a fancy french franchise in the heart of the downtown area but with its own Japanese spin.

"Oh shit Hamstring, it's THEM!" Matsuda pointed in the right direction, literally.

Katase was wearing an elegant white dress that showed off her nice cleavage and plump thighs. Her friend Murayama had on a sexy black dress, showing her tight body and smooth curves.

M&amp;M drooled at the incredible sight, unable to take their eyes off the prize.

"Hot damn!" Matsuda turned to face his comrade. "Yo bro, what does your legendary scouter say about their hotness level?!" He could barely control himself.

Motohama wasn't faring much better. He checked his infamous three-sizes glasses, nearly crushing them in the process. "Their hotness level is... is... OVER NINE THOU- Ouch, who threw that?!"

"Will you two stop screwing around and sit down already?" Murayama threw a fork at him.

The boys complied and sat next to their favorite picks, Matsuda next to Katase and Motohama next to Murayama.

Murayama complained in her stern manner. "So you doofuses finally showed up. If being late wasn't enough, you're over there turning downtown into clowntown."

Katase wasn't angry. "Cut them some slack, will ya? I bet it's their first date and they were just nervous. We're just too gorgeous to handle, isn't that right?" She looked at Matsuda playfully.

"Durr, yes ma'am!" Matsuda readily agreed.

"Hmph. I guess I can let it slide for now." Murayama calmed down a bit.

Meanwhile, Motohama was ready to enact his master plan. "Well, ladies, anything you want is on us. Entrees, wine, beer, dessert, sake, champagne, anything!"

"My, what a gentleman." Katase chuckled. "I'll take you up on that!"

Murayama grabbed Motohama by the collar. "What's with all that alcohol on your list? Don't even think of trying anything! Besides, we can't even order any. We're still minors, you idiot."

"Dammit, I forgot about that." Motohama caught himself. "Er, I mean, I just meant that even the expensive stuff is okay with me! Hehe...he..."

"That's what I thought." Murayama let him go.

The waiter, or _Garçon_, came by the table. The four were located right in the center of the restaurant. Great place to sit, if you want eyes all over you. "Good evening, _mademosseiles _and _monsieurs_. I bring you a slice of soft baguette and sparkling water to whet your appetites. Are the esteemed customers ready to order?"

Katase looked through the menu. "There's so many tasty choices!"

Murayama couldn't decide on what she wanted. "I'm seeing several items that look delicious!"

M&amp;M thought to themselves together at once, 'So do WE!' They brain-fived eachother.

Matsuda was the first to choose despite not knowing what the menu said or how to pronounce any of it. His dirty mind made up its own specials. "This 'T&amp;A to Go' sounds like the shit, yo. Gimme some of that!"

The waiter wrote it down. "Would the _monsieur_ prefer it _bien cuit_, _ a point_, or perhaps _bleu_?"

Matsuda almost had a meltdown. "I uh... eh... duuhh... Ah, fuck it! I'll do it raw!" He blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"_Bleu_ it is, then?" The waiter jotted it down.

Motohama followed suit with his perverted friend. "Yeah, I want "All of the Above", extra spicy, please!"

The girls caught on to their shenanigans quickly and had an epiphany of sorts. They realized that just simply yelling common sense into these guys wasn't gonna cut it, so they went in the other direction. They decided to tease them a little with their own creations.

"I think I want... hmm..." Katase tried to think like a pervert. 'The Big D', dripping with sauce!"

Murayama smirked and picked up from there. "I'll have the 'Parisian Creampie' and make sure you fill it to the brim."

"Excellent choices, _mademoiselles_. I shall return at once." The waiter left to serve other customers.

M&amp;M sat in stunned silence. The girls were quite proud of their own performance, leaving the boys speechless.

No one said anything for a full minute and it was getting awkward. The girls regretted it already and blushed with embarrassment.

"E-excuse me, I have to go freshen up." Murayama scooted out and headed for the bathroom.

"M-me too." Katase followed hurriedly.

When they were gone, M&amp;M busted out cheering.

"Yo bromide, my thermometer is rising 'cause it's getting hot in here!" Matsuda hollered.

"I wanna go to the bathroom for a different reason, know what I'm saying?" Motohama hooted.

While they were hooting and hollering, the waiter came back with their meals. He didn't question the absence of the ladies, politely assuming their return.

Katase was the first to come back, enticed by the heavenly aroma of the food. "I can't wait to get that Big D in my mouth! It smells so good!" She had all but forgotten her shame.

Murayama conveniently forgot hers, too. The pie in front of her took her undivided attention. "This cream is so thick and sweet, I'm going to lick every ounce! Mmmm!"

M&amp;M were stunned yet again. They watched intently as the girls wolfed the food down like they hadn't eaten in months. Sports metabolism was truly a sight to behold. Finished in a flash, sauce and cream were dripping from the ladies' mouths. A few sensual swipes of the tongue cleaned that up.

Murayama patted her lips with a napkin. "Simply marvelous. Hm?" She looked at the full plates still remaining.

Katase noticed this as well. "What's wrong? You guys didn't even touch your food."

Matsuda couldn't take it anymore. "That's 'cause I'd rather touch yooouuu!" He tried to leap into her, only to faceplant as she moved out of the way.

"What do you think you're doing?" Katase didn't seem surprised or even annoyed. She figured this would eventually happen.

Motohama presented his ultimatum, on his knees again. "Take pity on our poor selves! All we want is just a little taste of heaven. Is that too much to ask? Will you let our firsts be soapland women who kicked us out because we're minors or else we would totally do it?"

The girls looked at eachother. Murayama sighed, acquiescing at last. "There's no helping you two. If you're that hard up, come meet us at my place. After you've paid the bill, of course." They packed up and left the restaurant.

Matsuda sat up. "D-did you just hear that, homedawg? We're gonna get laid, awww yeeahhh!"

"It worked! It actually worked! Thank you, Sexlord, for shining your light upon us!" Motohama's tears flooded floor.

The waiter came back around and cleared his throat. "If you are quite finished, would the _monsieurs_ be so kind as to pay your bill?" He presented numbers that had more digits than they had yen.

Matsuda nearly choked. "Oh shit! What do we do?!"

Motohama had a plan. "Don't worry, I got this." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small spray bottle. "This, my good sir, is a fine cologne from Capsicum, France. Maybe you'd rather take this as payment?"

The waiter was intrigued. "Capsicum, you say? My parents are from there. Let me try it."

Motohama wore an evil grin. "Allow me!" He sprayed the rest of the contents right into the waiter's face!

"AAAIIEEEE! _Sacré bleu_, my eyes!" The waiter doubled over, knocking himself out on the edge of the table.

"Nice one, Motohammad Ali!" Matsuda praised his friend's quick thinking.

Motohama rubbed his nose proudly. "That's why I'm the brains of this operation."

The waiter was starting to come to and the restaurant manager was checking on the commotion. They already dined and now they had to dash!

M&amp;M escaped the fury of the cooks and their sharp knives. Unharmed and not broke, the only thing left was to lose the card no one wants to keep, the V-card! Things were finally looking up for the dastardly duo.


	6. Chapter 6

M&amp;M were up all night in the room thinking about how the day would proceed.

Motohama finished crunching some final numbers on a calculator. He grinned smugly. "According to these calculations, our chances of getting laid are through the roof! 80085%, to be precise."

Matsuda chortled. "Tell me something I don't know, bro! You remember how they was eyeing us up at that fancypants food joint? They were holdin' it in, it was way obvious."

"That's all well and good, my dear friend. However!" Motohama pushed up his glasses. "The fact remains that our experiences with females under the sheets is currently between jack shit and bullshit."

Matsuda's confidence slowly faded. "Aw man, why you gotta be such a downer?"

"Hold your balls, buddy. I'm getting to the good part." Motohama opened up his laptop. "While you were daydreaming, I was doing research." The screen showed a collage of various under-dressed women in suggestive positions.

"Whoahoho!" Matsuda leaned in for a closer look.

"What the-?" Motohama looked at his screen. "Dammit, I'm missing the article I was gonna show you. Now all we got is-"

"_Mats_urbation material, am I right? Wooooo!" Matsuda cracked himself up.

"Actually, yeah." Motohama continued. "I discovered that spending some quality time alone in the bathroom for a few hours will increase endurance up to 2 minutes!"

"2 minutes? That's..." Matsuda seemed thoroughly unimpressed. "... Fucking awesome!" But of course, he was most pleased. "That's the shit right there, bro magnum. They're gonna call me Phatsuda with all these ill moves I'm gonna pull!" He was ready to get a head start on the grand plan.

"I'm gonna call you both dead if you don't get the hell outta my house!" Issei groaned, sleep deprived. M&amp;M had failed to mention that they would be using his room to plan the operation.

"We're about to get some poon here for the first time ever and you're trying to kick us out?" Motohama pulled no punches. "Maybe we should just stick around all day cockblocking you from all these hotties you got around here."

"Yeah dude, that's too cold to be sold! Reheat some love for the Bro Team, dawg." Matsuda brought a fist to his chest in the universal bro sign.

Issei sighed. "I'm happy for you, all right? Fine, I'll let you finish. Just don't take all the time in the world, I got chicks to do. I mean, stuff. Stuff to do. Now can you at least leave my room?"

M&amp;M celebrated their close friend's understanding of their plight by kicking him in the ass, tossing him out and locking the door. They played rock-paper-scissors for who got to use the bathroom first. Their methods were nothing but madness, yet it was tame compared to the test they would soon face.

* * *

Late afternoon or early evening, the long-risen sun of the East had begun to cast a magical glow along the idyllic murals and swaying greens of the town. It shone through the windows of millions, signifying a time of peace, a brief respite between the hectic work or school day and the bustling cacophony of city nightlife. Past one of these windows, several stories high, the magnificent rays landed upon two exhausted idiots with their dicks hanging out.

"Y-Yo, Yugi Moto." Matsuda lay sprawled on the floor.

"W-what?" Motohama was collapsed along a wall.

"The... the heart of the cards... I..." Matsuda sprung upright, suddenly and somehow full of energy. "I believe!"

"Right on, brother!" Motohama came back from the dead, fist in the air.

M&amp;M struck a unified heroic pose with mosaics over their crotches. "For the Three T's: Truth, Titties and uh..."

"Traitors!" Issei punched the door into the duo, smashing them against the far corner of the room. "I took a break from doing 'stuff' to break into my own room. Now, I'm gonna break you!"

"W-wait! We were just playin' before, man, for real!" Matsuda cowered.

"You wouldn't hit a guy with glas-" Motohama's glasses were punched, along with his face.

Issei grabbed Matsuda and dangled him from the window. "How's the view, asshole?"

"Oh shit! Are you Issei or MJ?" Matsuda jostled around a bit. "HEEEELPPP!"

Motohama wobbled to his feet. "H-have mercy, great leader. Take pity on our miserable souls."

"I'm gonna put you out of _my_ misery, that's for damn sure!" Issei was mad as hell, but eventually, he brought Matsuda back in. "Dammit, you guys. Quit screwin' around or I'm not gonna invite you to play Topless Beach Volleyball 5 anymore."

"B-but that's the super rare limited edition uncensored foreign import version!" Motohama would have preferred death.

"We'll be good, yo! We won't eat the leftovers or piss in the kitchen sink or-" Matsuda incriminated himself.

"You what?!" Issei was enraged anew.

M&amp;M had done it now. "We plead the fifth!" They escaped through the very same death-dangling window, monkeying their way down the side. They made it out alive and not a moment too soon.

"Watching all those parkour videos really paid off." Motohama landed softly with expert precision.

"Get your ass outta my ear, fool!" Matsuda didn't fare as well.

"Every stuntman needs an airbag. Well done, citizen." Motohama barely finished his false praise when a scream erupted from the distance.

"Holy shit, what was that?" Matsuda was caught off guard. "Sounded like..."

"...like a voluptuous woman in trouble!" Motohama answered the call of duty. "Horny Heroes, assemble!"

"Shape of-" Matsuda transformed. "A horse!"

"Form of-" Motohama changed his glasses. "Clark Kunt!" He looked at his partner. "Hey, you don't look any different."

"Never said which part of the horse I got, know what I'm sayin'?" Matsuda slapped his knee like an old miner.

"Man, whatever. There's chicks to bang and save, in any order. Let's go!" Motohama led the way.

They started to walk somewhat quickly to the source of the danger but got tired halfway through. Eventually, they arrived at a surprising scene.

"That's what you get, you shitty gropers!" Katase was turning a balding pervert's face into pulp.

"If you ever come around here again, you won't get off so easy." Murayama's wooden sword was bloodsoaked.

Behind them, the infamous girl gang had some more sexual predators tied up and beaten. The predators were all male and wore the same logos on their shirts.

M&amp;M immediately jumped into some nearby bushes, barely avoiding detection.

A bead of sweat rolled down Matsuda's forehead. "This is bad, yo. The Babe Watch got got! Those mofos are gonna rat us out!"

"Calm down." Motohama came up with a brilliant strategy. "They'll never get a chance to squeal on us, and we'll clear all suspicion in one fell swoop, all thanks to my flawless plan." He explained this fantastic idea.

"That's genius, homeslice! Let's go on 3." Matsuda got ready. "One... Two..."

M&amp;M emerged in unison. "Three!" They flew like majestic eagles towards their downed comrades, presumably to untie and rescue them from the clutches of the fearsome enemy. With fire in their hearts and fury in their fists, their blows landed squarely on target.

"Take this, and this!" Matsuda's lightning-quick swings were a blur.

"This'll learn ya!" Motohama delivered his best and biggest hits.

Unfortunately for the Babe Watch, M&amp;M's attacks were leveled at them instead! When the dust finally settled, anyone who could have snitched was in stitches, either unconscious or physically unable to speak.

"Mission complete!" M&amp;M high-fived.

"Excuse me, but who the fuck are you?" The gang leader approached the newcomers. "Wait, haven't I seen you before?"

"Uh... shit." Motohama failed to account for familiar faces.

It was Matsuda's turn to save the day. "Hell naw girl, I'd remember seeing that fine piece of a- Yowch!"

"What are you two doing here? And what's with those tattered rags?" Katase pulled his ear.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready to come over to my place soon?" Murayama criticized Motohama in much the same manner.

"We were going over there now, honest!" Motohama put up his hands. "I heard some screaming then saw these, eh, filthy perverts giving you trouble."

"I finished them off for ya! Don't need to thank me, my services come free for the ladies." Matsuda was proud of himself.

"We were going to interrogate them before you buffoons knocked their teeth out." Katase sighed. "Oh well, I guess it's the thought that counts. Right?" She turned to her friend.

"They did put aside their base instincts to protect us, or try to anyway." Murayama let them off this time. "At least you're not part of that ridiculous club. 'Babe Watch', what a stupid name. Who even came up with it?"

"Stupid? It's genius!" Motohama forgot himself for a moment. "I mean, only a genius could have defeated such a powerful and well-trained foe whose leader must surely be both highly intelligent and handsome."

"Oh my, flattery so soon? Save that for later tonight." Murayama chuckled.

"Speaking of that, since you're already here, wanna walk home together?" Katase invited the boys to a friendly stroll.

"I'm down to walk around town, fo' shizzle. Let's bounce." Matsuda was on board.

"No objections here. I don't like the way that gang is looking at us." Motohama was eager to go before the other girls' figured out their true identities.

* * *

They chitted and chatted all the way back. It was a pleasant conversation and they all had a great time hearing stories, getting up to hilarious hijinks and just generally becoming more comfortable with each other.

"Ahaha, no way! That's so like you, Matsy." Katase was laughing at the latest and not-so-greatest tale.

"Damn straight, ain't no fool gettin' away from me after that." Matsuda puffed out his chest.

"Don't forget that I did all of the planning beforehand." Motohama reminded them who the real mastermind was.

"All right, enough of the ego massage. We're here." Murayama unlocked the gate and the front door, letting everyone in. "Sit down in the den, I'll get the tea ready."

"Okay! I'll keep an eye on the morons." Katase brought the boys to the living space with a small TV and a cozy kotatsu. "On second thought, why don't you get settled in? I'll go help with the tea." She left the two unsupervised troublemakers with free reign of the place.

M&amp;M smiled and waved her off. As soon as she turned the corner, they froze mid-motion and their faces became serious.

"Matsuda." Motohama glanced at his compatriot with furrowed brows.

"I know." Matsuda's eyes narrowed, focused and deadly.

They were hatching a devious plan, unbeknownst to the girls'. As for the boys, little did they know that they would be the victims of an equally harrowing plot.


	7. The Epic Conclusion!

The clock in the den struck 6:30. The girls had been gone for several minutes and it was time to act. M&amp;M were sitting directly across from each other, but their master plan required greater communications security.

"*chk* This is M., do you copy? Over." Motohama made fake radio transmission noises.

Matsuda followed suit. "*chk* Roger that, M. This is M. copying loud and clear, over."

"Wait, this is as dumb as the first time. Forget this!" Motohama dropped the act and the pretend radio all at once.

"Yeah! The girls are probably strippin' down before they go down, on US!" Matsuda knew there was no time to lose.

The boys had purchased new garments for the occasion – Two pairs of black jumpsuits and matching knit beanies. Step 1 of their grand plan was to sneak a peek at the girls slipping into something more comfortable or at least snag some panties for personal use later. Step 2 was to repeat Step 1 indefinitely.

"You ready?" Motohama had an extra piece of gear.

"Ready as spaghetti, bro!" Matsuda gave him a thumbs up but he also noticed the equipment on his friend's face. "Holy shit, dude. Where'd you score those sweet NVG's?"

"Trade secret, my friend. You see, technology is the modern pervert's greatest ally. With technology we can surpass the limits of mere human senses and cognition." Motohama turned on his night-vision goggles. He looked like the protagonist of a Tom Clancy novel, which would be badass if not for the fact that the lights were already on. "AARGH! MY EYES!"

"We're getting hit by invisible assholes! Eat carpet, yo!" Matsuda dove to the ground on top of a rug.

"I-I can't see! The light hurts so much!" Motohama writhed on the floor.

"The lights? I got you bro!" Matsuda leapt to his feet. "Take this, you bulbous bastards!" He punched every light in sight, even annihilating the small hallway guide lamps.

The monumental racket produced by their shenanigans couldn't go unnoticed. The girls threw on something quick and ran out.

Murayama held a bedsheet across herself, barely covering her most important places. "What the hell?! Stop destroying my house, you morons!"

Katase had managed to slip on a half-open shirt and a pair of panties that weren't pulled up all the way. "Give me those stupid goggles! They better be expensive enough to cover the damages or else!"

"I-I'm saved..." Motohama passed out from the relief.

Matsuda was not as fortunate. "H-HEEELP!" The last thing he saw was a wooden sword being brought down on him.

* * *

Tropical birds cawed in the background. A muggy, ancient jungle covered the vast prehistoric sprawl of Caveton. It was a land where early man and not-yet-extinct dinosaurs and mammals roamed the Earth together.

Caveton was the largest of all the prehistoric villages and home of the most advanced technology known at the time. The first iteration of the wheel had come to be. It was somewhat square and didn't really rotate, but it was a start. In these times, the mightiest hunters would receive the finest females with which to fornicate.

However, residing in this most monumental of villages were two not-so-mighty hunters hanging about with no mates to speak of. Mot and Mat were their names, two cave-morons so lazy and dumb that they were underqualified to be the village idiots.

Mot beat a rock with another, larger rock. "Mot hit rock."

Mat watched Mot hit the small rock with the bigger one. "Rock Mot hit."

Mot considered himself to be a lifeform of the highest intelligence. He had hatched a plan, yet again, to gain females that weren't covered in fur. "Mot hit animal with rock, like Mot hit rock with rock."

Mat was amazed by his genius. "Mot smart. Mat want cavebitches too. Mat want rock!"

Mot wouldn't give it up for all of Pangea. "Mot rock!"

Mat persisted. "Mat rock!" He grabbed at it.

After tugging back and forth for a while, the rock finally slipped out of both of their hands and into the face of Bigso Greathunter, the strongest warrior/hunter/handsome dude in the tribe.

Bigso Greathunter was unscathed and didn't mind the pebble. He was only here for one reason. "Beast coming. Bigso kill beast when it comes." He seemed confident in himself.

The said beast was a carnivorous dinosaur about 10 feet tall and 25 feet long. "Beast here!" Bigso was about to strike.

Mot and Mat paused their shenanigans to cower in fear. "Danger beast! Mot scared!"

Mot adjusted his granite glasses and came up with a fancier term. "Beast dangerous. Beast strange. Beast strangerous!"

The er...'strangerous' dinosaur approached Bigso first, about to bite his head off. Bigso was, well, big. He thought himself bigger than he was and that could get him into trouble with this particular dinosaur.

However, Mot and Mat decided they weren't gonna let him show off even more and decided to caveman up.

The dinosaur leaped at Bigso, but M&amp;M jumped in front of Bigso first. "We take care of this!" They stared at the beast with determined eyes, fresh rocks in hand.

Suddenly, an even larger dinosaur emerged from the thickets nearby. It released a deafening, frightening roar that would scare off pretty much anything, Bigso included. "Bigso will tactically retreat!" He ran off without another word.

Mot and Mat stood their ground, too dumb to be able to focus on more than one threat. The larger dinosaur rushed at the smaller one, grabbing it by the neck and dragging it into the jungle to feast upon the sizable meal.

M&amp;M were shocked to the bones. Their only knowledge of the situation amounted to all the big-ass predators being gone and them still being alive.

"D-Dino gone?" Mat looked around, then cheered. "Mat beat dino! Mat strong!

"No!" Mot wanted the credit for the non-kill. "Mot rock pro! Mot kill!"

"Mot wrong!" Mat had his one and only epiphany. "Mat kill Mot! Then Mat hero!"

"Mat weak! Mot strong!" Mot rose to the challenge, but they both fell on their asses after many brutal seconds of fighting.

M&amp;M lay on the ground after their grueling duel, exhausted.

"Mot." Mat called out.

"Mat." Mot called back.

"Friend?" Mat extended a branch of peace.

Mot smiled. "Friend." He grabbed it in a sign of solidarity.

They would later find out that it was a poison oak branch, but for now, all was well again.

* * *

Matsuda came to a few hours later. "Ugh... Hey Motocycle, I just had a weird-ass dream." He looked around and saw that his friend was still knocked out. "Get up, yo! Snoozeville's got a population of one passed out motherfucker and that's you."

Motohama groaned some barely intelligible words. "Interior. Crocodile. Alligator."

Matsuda saw that his compatriot was in no condition to flee captivity. He picked him up by the torso and prepared to make an epic rescue. "Time to blow this dildo stand!" His face scrunched up in disgust when he realized what he said.

Motohama stirred to life. "Ha...haha...hahaha! Leave the cool lines to me, dumbass."

"Hamdog! You're alive!" Matsuda dropped him like a sack of potatoes.

Motohama fell on his tailbone. "Ow! My coccyx!"

"Oh shit, did you fall on your dingle donger? My bad, dude." Matsuda showed his lack of understanding in the study of anatomy and also everything else.

"Nevermind that, where the hell are we?" Motohama got his bearings.

"Uh... some sorta room? There's like, a floor and some walls and shit." Matsuda made his clever deduction.

"I know that, doofus. Now I remember." Motohama thought back to a little while ago. "Operation Sneak Peek failed spectacularly. We have no doubt been captured by the enemy/sexy babes. If I recall correctly, this is the point where they come in half-naked and torture us into talking by use of whips and lapdances."

"Know what that sounds like, homeslice?" Matsuda wore a big, silly grin. "We're gonna score, bro!"

Motohama pushed up his glasses. "Yes, my friend, at long last. This is indeed the most likely and obvious outcome of our current situation!"

The room suddenly got darker. The door slid open slightly, slowly and menacingly. An ominous aura emanated from the small crack and furious, red eyes gleamed from the abyss.

M&amp;M screamed and hugged each other in fear.

"This is the end, Modawg!" Matsuda teared up.

"We die unfulfilled after all..." Motohama's spirit was crushed.

The dark presence entered the room and stood before them.

"God, you two look so pathetic." Katase emerged from the shadows.

"Will you please not stain the tatami mats with your filthy fluids?" Murayama was the other figure beside her.

"The girls!" M&amp;M exclaimed in unison. Their relief was palpable as they walked casually to the back wall and reclined against it.

"Um, what the hell are you doing?" Katase was as confused as her friend.

"Getting set up for the 'torture'!" Motohama grinned.

"Come on ladies, whip me up and take my cream!" Matsuda was eager to get started.

"Gladly!" Murayama readied her shinai. The scene that followed had to be censored... for it was pretty damn brutal!

"That should do it for now." Katase dusted off her hands.

"Have you boys finally learned your lesson?" Murayama was talking to a pixelated pile of something in the corner.

Reassembled yet dead inside, M&amp;M slumped soullessly against the wall. The sight was grim and tragic, so much so that the girls finally took genuine pity on them.

"W-well, maybe we went too far this time?" Katase showed some remorse.

"I guess you're right." Murayama echoed her sentiment. "This only happened because..."

"Because," Katase continued. "We've only ever punished them. I think it's time for a reward for once."

"W-Wait, right now? Are you sure?" Murayama was apprehensive, but she agreed. "O-Okay, if you say so."

M&amp;M looked at each other, confused.

* * *

All four were now up in the master bedroom, completely naked. Believe it or not, it's their dreams come true after all!

"Do you guys have protection?" The girls asked the big question.

M&amp;M couldn't speak, for they were speechless at this current situation. Instead, they just stared at the hot chicks before them, like a train wreck that you can't look away from. Except that this situation was the opposite of a train wreck!

"We'll assume that's a 'no'. So me and Katase will just take pills later." Murayama giggled.

The boys now had to decide which chick they would deflower. Matsuda chose Katase and Motohama picked Murayama.

Matsuda devoured (not literally) Katase's hot-ass body without any restraints. "Damn, man! I could do this shit allll dayyyy long!" He was ready to blast off like a rocket. He eventually began sucking and playing with Katase's breasts. "Fuck yes! I'm finally feeling funbags! FFF, yo!"

Motohama had to agree with his friend, obviously. "Hells to the yeah! This beats an egg any day!" He pressed his erection against Murayama's nipples like they were buttons. "Ooohohohoho yeah, that feels good!" His glasses fogged up.

The girls thought some of the things M&amp;M did were strange, but they enjoyed themselves nevertheless. "I'd say it's time for the main course." Katase smiled.

M&amp;M nodded excitedly. "YYEESSSS! Time for the D&amp;D, dicks and dessert!" They had promised each other beforehand that they would both experience the same things at the same time, like they were spiritually connected. Let's see if they can pull that off... Not their dicks, of course.

M&amp;M both pressed their members against their respective partner's holy entrance. "Here...we...GO!" They pushed through at once, finally losing their v-cards. "OHH SHIIIIITT!" They both felt the amazing sensation of a woman's pussy for the first time. Their eyes rolled into the back of their heads, but their sheer will to experience it kept them conscious.

The chicks winced in pain as their virginites were taken. However, it wasn't long before they started feeling a surge of pleasure with every thrust.

M&amp;M moved their bodies in perfect sync and harmony with each other. Both of them were equally enjoying the delightful sensations they felt.

Motohama would begin something. "Oh..."

Matsuda finished it. "...S-Shit!"

"Y-You guys, n-not so rough!" Katase and Murayama yelled in unison.

The two dudes continued pounding away in sync without mercy. M&amp;M's cocks felt so hard and hot inside, that it drive both girls crazy. Overall, M&amp;M had the best 45 seconds of their lives, until they exploded inside pussies like erupting volcanoes. "AWWWWWWW SHHITTTTT! Ungh! It... feels ...so damn good!" They both had to laugh off their pleasure, in order to calm themselves down.

M&amp;M said together, "We're finally men."

* * *

Warm, natural light flooded the bedroom. Its gentle caress lapped the cheeks of two sleeping beauties. Incidentally, it also lapped the buttcheeks of two snoring beasts.

"Zzzzzz...titties...zzzzz...sexual intercourse...zzzzz." M&amp;M slept peacefully, their lust continuing in their dreams.

The girls awoke first. "Mmmmmm!" Katase stretched. "Hey Muri, are you up yet?"

"Yeah, give me a minute." Murayama stirred and got out of bed, still naked. "Dumb and dumber are still sound asleep." Her tone was playful and without malice.

"...I can't believe we did that." Katase was apprehensive, yet positively excited.

"I never would have thought in a million years that they'd be our firsts." Murayama could barely believe it herself.

"Or at all! Not even if they were the last males on Earth! Like, I would take a dung beetle before them." Katase exaggerated.

They heard soft crying from under the sheets. They lifted them and saw the boys with hurt feelings.

"W-we just wanted to see some nipples." Motohama choked through his tears.

"Why you gotta bust our balls after you drain them dry?" Matsuda lamented.

"Oh, relax you idiots. What, our virginities weren't good enough for you?" Katase wore an angry expression.

"We gave you our firsts! It's going to take a lifetime to pay us back for this." Murayama dropped a big hint.

"Y-You mean...?" The boys were elated at finally having real girlfriends.

"Woohooooo! Now I will only have to peruse porn once per day!" Motohama cheered.

"Now someone else is gonna do the blowing!" Matsuda pulled out a pocket blow-up sex doll. "Katase, actually could you inflate this for-Yowch!"

Murayama hit him with her shinai. "What I mean is that you're going to come to kendo practice when you're supposed to. No more skipping!"

Katase slammed her fist into her palm. "And in order to sculpt you into men worthy of us, we'll be working you harder than ever!"

Looks like Matsuda and Motohama are in for a lot of pain and a lot of pleasure in the foreseeable future. Word eventually did get around and when the school newspaper club asked them for comments on their harsh lives from now on, M&amp;M had provided this headline.

"Doesn't matter, had sex!" They jumped and high-fived each other, fading into a frontpage photo of them connecting at the apex. Steve Winwood's "Higher Love" started playing and the credits rolled.

**CREDITS**

**Writers**

_BLS91090_  
_DemonHide_

**Concept**

_BLS91090_  
_DemonHide_

**Starring**

_Matsuda_ as himself  
_Motohama_ as himself  
_Katase_ as herself  
_Murayama_ as herself  
_A dog _as a dog  
and _Pissei Hyoudou_ as the harem-having son of a bitch  
well who's laughin' now, asshole_? _Me. I'm laughing. Hahahahah-Ow!

Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing?

"Oh hey Narrator, just putting in a few minor edits." Motohama was barking up a dangerous tree.

Guys. This is a really important part. Don't ruin this for me.

"Quit being such a stinge-monger! Just tryin' to have a little fun, dawg." Matsuda wasn't helping.

Hey. I got you guys laid. Do you know how hard that was? I'm not fucking omnipotent. This was a freaking cosmic impossibility I had to overcome. Cut me some slack, will you?

"Bitch please, bet you're still a virgin." Matsuda's nose grew bigger in arrogant pride.

"Uh, maybe we shouldn't piss him off." Motohama was correct. They would suffer for their crimes.

Hello, Sharks &amp; Spiders, Inc.? I need an airdrop at the provided location pronto. Thanks, much appreciated.

"W-What?" M&amp;M saw their worst fears rain down at them. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLPP!"

They were taught an old lesson anew – Never fuck with the Narrator.


	8. Bonus Chapter: Issei Takes Over!

Issei was at school, admiring the beauties Murayama and Katase. "I gotta have them titties."

However, M&amp;M were nearby and didn't like what they saw.

"Hey! What are you looking at?" Motohama adjusted his glasses.

"Yeah man! Those chicks over there are ours, yo!" Matsuda glared at him.

Issei had a grin on his face. "You two don't deserve them. I'd say it's time to take over, you get me?"

Motohama laughed like an idiot. "Hahahaha! That's funny! You're hilarious, Issei."

Matsuda followed suit. "I think you got screws loose in your brain, dude!"

Issei was getting annoyed. "If you guys wanna fight me, go ahead. But know this...by the time I'm through with you, you two won't shit right for a week!" Issei promptly punched M&amp;M at once.

M&amp;M got nailed, but they weren't down and out yet. "Ouch!"

Matsuda was about to return the blow. "Take this!" He threw a punch, but Issei dodged easily.

"Dammit! I'll try!" Motohama charged at Issei... only to run into a trash can, instead.

"You guys are no match for me." Issei was about to deliver a powerful blow, but suddenly stopped to think for a moment. "How about this... You let me have those chicks for one night. If they say I'm better, then you two can't have 'em anymore. But if they liked you two better, you can keep 'em." He was confident in his 'abilities'.

M&amp;M stared at each other, then at Issei. "WHAAATTT?!" They turned around to whisper in peace, but Issei could still hear them with his Devil powers. They turned back around and smirked at Issei.

"Alright, Issei Hyoudou. Challenge accepted." Motohama gave Issei a contract to sign.

Issei signed and handed it back. "Piece of cake!"

M&amp;M knew that Murayama and Katase wouldn't go for this. "You'll have to talk to them about it now. Good luck." They laughed their asses off and left.

Issei was still confident. He knew that the girls would never agree to talk to him out of the blue. He wasn't sure how M&amp;M ever got inside that particular pair of panties, but that doesn't exactly mean he has a shot out of the gate. Instead, he devised a devious plan that would fuck two lovely birds with one horny Issei!

_'Done! Man, I sure hope I got their lockers right.' _Issei closed the small square door and left no trace of his tampering behind. _'With these fake love letters, I'll know just how faithful they really are to those two jerkwads and lure them out. At the same time!'_

He hurried to make his escape but was too hasty in his retreat. He ran into someone and they both fell flat. "Whoops, sorry. Wait, what?!"

"Ow! Watch where you're going, you idiot!" It was Katase! Just his luck. Not only that, wherever she was, Murayama wouldn't be far behind.

As if on cue, Murayama turned the corner as well. "Oh my God, are you okay?" She helped Katase up and scolded Issei. "Are you blind, dumbass?"

The timing couldn't have been worse. "Uh, yep, totally blind over here, haha. Anyway, gotta run and get some uh, new eyes?" Issei tried any excuse to flee the scene of the crime.

"Hold it." Murayama's suspicious pervert alarm went off. "What're you doing near our lockers?"

"I, uh, eh, uh, I mean... Just chillin', killin'. You know?" Issei couldn't play it off any longer. He'd have to spill the beans or else spill his guts. "Let's have a threesome!" He finally said it. Before he could go on, he was knocked out cold.

Hours later, Issei awoke in the school infirmary. _'That went about as well as I expected.' _He groaned and got up. "Huh?" To his surprise, the girls were standing there in front of him!

"We heard all about it from the doofuses." Katase confessed.

"Why are all men such idiots? Our bodies aren't your betting chips!" Murayama was pissed.

"But..." Katase continued. "They were crying so much that we just couldn't stand it anymore."

"Those insecure numbskulls will be the death of us. I can't believe we have to do this just to prove that they're decent." Murayama sighed.

"W-what?" Issei couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You'll do me? I mean, you'll do it? With me?" He leaped into the air. "WAHOOOO! I'll show you who's better, once and for all!"

* * *

The three were at Murayama's house, up in her room and butt naked.

Issei was vigorously fingering Murayama and Katase's wet pussies at once. While doing this, he deeply kissed each girl and switched back and forth.

"Mmmhm!" Murayama enjoyed everything that was going on. She didn't regret making this decision after all.

Katase would agree with her friend. "Ahhhh!"

Issei had to ask an important question before continuing on. "You two ARE on pills, aren't you?"

"Yes... Issei, stop playing around and fuck us already!" Murayama sounded annoyed but horny.

"I have no objections." Issei smirked a little. He instructed for the girls to get into a certain position, where Katase was laying on the bed and Murayama was ontop of her. He kneed behind the girls, sticking his hard cock inside Murayama's pussy, and thrusting at a fast pace.

"Oh my fucking god, it feel so good!" Murayama's moans filled the room. "H-Harder! F-Faster! Mmhm!" Her body was shaking.

Issei thrusted in her pussy with strong force. "Gahh-ahhh!" He could feel her warm and wet insides tightening around his cock. He played with Murayama's large breasts as he pounded her more.

Murayama could barely handle this sensation. "Ahhh hahh!" She screamed in pleasure as her pussy got really wet and was dripping juice. "I'm...c-cumming!"

"Me too!" Issei pounded Murayama hard and deep without restraint. He suddenly erupted from his cock inside Murayama's tight pussy. "AHHHHHHH Fuck yes!~"

"AAAAAHHHH! HAHHH!" Murayama splashed her juices all over Issei. It was undoubtedly the best orgasm she ever had.

Issei pulled out. "Are you ready for yours, Katase?"

Katase nodded with a blush on her face. "J-Just stick it in already."

Issei replied by plunging his cock inside Katase's begging wet pussy. "Ohhhh yeahh!" He moaned at the sensation. He began thrusting hard and deep.

"M-my whole body is on fire!" Katase couldn't help but moan loudly. "Nhn...!"

Issei continued to thrust inside Katase's tight pussy. "Ahhh! Fuck yeah, that feels good!"

"Ahh! Issei! I-I can't take it!" Katase screamed and shivered. She moaned even louder from all the pleasure rushing to her brain. "Issei, I think I'm...!"

"Go ahead and cum! Let it all out!" Issei slammed Katase hard and was about to cum himself.

Katase held onto her friend tightly, while experiencing great amounts of pleasure. "Nnnnn, ah...! Issei, I'm cumming! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Her pussy erupted with lots of juice while she experienced her greatest orgasm.

"Fuck, here I COMMMMMMEE!" Issei allowed another orgasm to take over. He unleashed a storm of cum inside Katase's pussy.

Both Murayama and Katase were knocked out, with hearts in their eyes.

* * *

The next morning, Issei awoke refreshed. He yawned and scratched his belly. "Man, who did I fuck last night?" He saw the girls laying next to him, still asleep. He remembered the bet he made with Matsuda and Motohama. "Oh yeah, that's right!" His exclamation awoke the sleeping beauties.

"Mmm... What time is it?" Katase was the first to stir.

Murayama followed. "What happened? Where are we?"

Issei leaped out of bed, throwing the sheets off in the process and exposing the bare-naked ladies. "Hehe, you're on cloud nine and you two are mine! Forget those M&amp;M swine and we'll celebrate with wine!" He rhymed without reason. "Once you get a taste of the master, everyone else is a disaster. Am I right, girls?" He leaned forward and gave them both a kiss.

Katase blushed. "Oh... Well..." She had to be honest. "You were great and all, really, but..."

Murayama was about to lay down the bottom line. "It won't happen again! This was a one-time deal, got it?"

"Yeah, what she said. I mean, it felt amazing so I guess you win? At least you have that." Katase slinked out of bed and started to get dressed. Murayama was already putting her shirt on.

Issei just stood there, motionless. A few awkward minutes passed until he fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOO! My perfect record, ruined! The Oppai Emperor has fallen!"

"C-Calm down, it's not that bad." Katase, fully dressed, tried to console him. "It's just that those two numbskulls would forget to breathe without us, you know?"

Murayama giggled. "Yep, you got that right. They're idiots but they're our idiots. Don't ever tell them that, though. Their egos are too big as it is."

Issei fell on his face and lay there on the floor. "I lost to the two dumbasses voted most likely to die virgins 3 years in a row. The pain is real! Just... Just go. Leave me to drown in my own tears blbublbublblb." A puddle large enough to make that possible impeded his speech.

The girls let him wallow in despair. They knew he'd be back to his old self in no time.

* * *

Later that day, the girls invited M&amp;M over for the news.

Matsuda almost broke the door down trying to get into Murayama's house. "Where's that two-faced jerkass?! I'm gonna beat his jerk ass!"

Motohama put up his fists. "I'm gonna diagnose him with a case of dead and buried!"

"Relax, guys." Murayama let them inside where Katase was waiting. "We'll tell you everything."

In the end, M&amp;M forgot all about their rage when they heard that they'd finally beaten Issei.

"And that's it! You guys are the best. Isn't that great?" Katase boosted their spirits. Although Issei himself knew the honest truth.

"Awwwww YEAH!" Matsuda flew to his feet. "All the bitches wanna get in our britches!"

Motohama felt proud of himself. "He was a fool to think he could beat my years of in-depth research. The thousands of yen in tissues finally paid off!"

M&amp;M stood tall in unison. "How about it ladies? Wanna do a victory lap with these studs right here?"

The girls laughed. It was the boys they knew after all.


End file.
